I actually wanted to wait a bit to do my Celebrity review, so that it didn’t read like this: “It’s so goooood! I love it! It’s brilliant! I HEART *NSYNC!” Which is what would have happened if I had written a review immediately upon purchasing the CD (or, um, downloading all the songs a week prior. :coughcough: ) As it is, I’m still pretty enamored with it, but am able to be somewhat objective. I think.
Pop
Lyric: It doesn’t matter, ’bout the car I drive or the ice around my neck
Overall rating: 5 pink stars (isn’t he CUTE?) out of 10
Comments: I was so excited when this song came out, because I desperately needed something new by The Boys to learn. I loved it, and still do, but find that I skip it a lot when I listen to Celebrity. It just isn’t the same if I can’t see the floor hump or the Hips, and I’m not nearly as good at the HUH-ing as Joey is.
Celebrity
Lyric: See it would be different, if you had something, maybe like a J-O-B
Overall rating: 5 pink stars out of 10
Comments: Cheese? What the fuck, boys? This song is catchy as hell, and I sing it a lot in my head, along with counting off all the things they can buy for me on my fingers. Just like Lance! But this gets major negative points for the crowd cheering and camera noises.
The Game is Over
Lyric: Didja, didja think that you could really find love from someone else? AND How did you think that you could do me like that, do me like that, DO ME LIKE THAAAAAAT!
Overall rating: 8 pink stars out of 10
Comments: Angry!JC makes me weak in the knees, I cannot tell a lie. This is just. Good. And somehow sexy as hell.
Girlfriend
Lyric: Do you know that love can be a shield?
Overall rating: 6 pink stars out of 10
Comments: This is growing on me, like an icky fungus. I know it’s a sort-of cheesy ballad, but it’s so good! Only I know it’s not. But it is! I secretly hope that Joey is the one doing all the murmurings under the track. And if you know it’s NOT Joey, please don’t share that with me. I like my delusions.
The Two of Us
Lyric: I’m thinking ’bout you day and night, and I just can’t get you off my mind, when you get a minute baby I was thinking we could hook up AND In a room full of people you’re the only one around
Overall rating: 10 pink stars out of 10
Comments. Oh, JC. This is simply the happiest song in the entire world. It makes me bob my head and sort of roll my shoulders and wriggle my hips no matter where I am. For instance, I’m dong it in an airplane right now! It’s brilliant, and makes me want to take JC out to a club where we can dance to it together. I’ll even do the literal “two” choreography.
Gone
Lyric: I been sit-in’ here, can’t get you off my mind, I try my best to be a man and be strong.
Overall rating: 8 pink stars out of 10
Comments: I know it’s wrong to read too much into these lyrics, and I’m sure Justin is perfectly happy in his personal life, and that Britney never stomped on his heart or anything. But when I listen to this I want to go out and find this hypothetical girl who left Justin alone and kick her ass. When his little voice cracks at the end? I’m dead.
Tell Me, Tell Me…Baby
Lyric: I’m hearing that you’re seeing someone new, and I want to know who, but does he love you like I do, my baby?
Overall rating: 5 pink stars out of 10
Comments: Has anyone else noticed that, on this album, JC is always the one asking the girl if her new man is as good as him? When they were sitting in those meetings, early in the recording process, breaking things up between him and Justin, did someone say, “Yo, JC. You’re going to sing all the insecure lyrics on this album, okay?” And then he got the one I’ve quoted here, and the one in “Game Over,” and the one in “See Right Through You.” This song is so clearly an homage to all the scary stalker fans that I almost can’t believe they had the balls to put it on this album. But other than that, it’s nothing special.
Up Against the Wall
Lyric: The girl was fine and she knew she had game, what more do I have to say? She took my hand, we never said a word at all, we started grinding, shorty had me up against the wall
Overall Rating: 9 pink stars out of 10
Comments: This is so deliciously dirty. And the best part is that they don’t even try to pretend that it’s not. Plus! If you’re listening loudly through headphones, you can totally hear Lance’s bass growling on “Fine young lady’s eyeing me.” And! There is no better fun than being in a car full of friends and doing the chant, or the “What more (WOO!) do I have to say? TWO STEP!”
See Right Through You
Lyric: Tell me girl what’s his name, what’d he do to take you, does he freak you the way that I do? Cause you know that I know how to
Overall rating: 8 pink stars out of 10
Comments: Again with the freaking sexy JC! Fuck. I swear that I put his verse on repeat for about two hours the first time I downloaded this song. Then I sat on AIM with my friend Dacey while my eyes watered over the supreme hotness of it all. While the rest of the song is fun and all, it’s really JC that causes it to score so high.
Selfish
Lyric: If love is a crime, then punish me, I would die for you
Overall rating: 6 pink stars out of 10
Comments: The first time I saw this performed in concert, I felt sort of “eh.” But then, about three shows later, JC performed his entire part about five feet from me, and woah. Just. Woah. Every time I hear it now, I see him in my head over-emoting in his fabulously intense way. “Unperfect” issues aside, this is really the only time on this album you can consistently hear Lance, and as a Lance fan, I take him where I can get him. (Heh.)
Just Don’t Tell Me That
Lyric: You can say it’s real, but I know where it’s at
Overall rating: 4 pink stars out of 10
Comments: Yeah. I know where it’s at, too, and it’s not this song. Sure, I know all the words, and I’ll sing along. I won’t even skip it. But if you need to save time, you totally could, and you wouldn’t feel like you’d missed something.
Something Like You
Lyric: Something happens when you look at me I forget to speak, something happens when you kiss my mouth my knees get so weak
Overall rating: 3 pink stars out of 10
Comments: The sentiment here is really nice, and I do love the line about kissing and weak knees, but the song is so fucking boring! Stevie Wonder whored himself out for the wrong song, man.
That Girl (Will Never Be Mine)
Lyric: How can I get next to her? Now, tell me how it’s gonna be done. Will I win or lose this one?
Overall rating: 5 pink stars out of 10
Comments: Another stalker song! I like to focus on little details of songs and then they get stuck in my head. Like, in this song, there is a part where they do this quick repeat of tell me how it’s gonna be done and I just love it. Now I’ll be doing it all day, in fact, just because I pointed it out to you.
Falling
Lyric: Something strange has come over me, a raging wind across my seas, and girl you know that your eyes are to blame
Overall rating: 3 pink stars out of 10
Comments: It pains me greatly to give Chris’s little contribution such a low score. But, seriously, this song is sort of crappy, in the way that it would have been lovely on the debut album. Alternately, I sort of get chills when JC sings “…ever since the moment I laid eyes on you.” This is, again, more due to JC than the cheesy lyrics.
Do Your Thing
Lyric: Keeping yourself from taking on your perfect dream, you’ve got to free your mind
Overall rating: 8 pink stars out of 10
Comments: This song gives me chills. It is proof that, damn, that JC kid can fucking sing. He can sing anything. He can bend his voice in ways the little electronic tweaks can accent but not hide. And though Justin is equally fabulous on this track, this is the first time I’ve ever ranked JC above him vocally in my own head. I’ve never looked back.
2001-08-28