It shouldn’t need to be said, but when Amy and Michelle get bored… well, it isn’t good. Inspired by the work of art that is known in the PopGurls-verse as the Lucy song, we’ve done some digging, yo, and we here at PopGurls are proud to present:
Dear Garbage Can,
I’m getting pretty pissed at Wade. I mean, did you see us on CBS? What the hell was that? I mean, sure, the chicks seem to dig the shoulder move, but do we really need to be doing aerobic moves during “Girlfriend?” and why the fight gesture? I really don’t think “because I said so, and I am a golden god.” cuts it, no matter what Wade says.
See, he can’t even come up with his own cool lines! Wade’s such a dork…
Plus, i think he’s mackin’ on my chick. If he wasn’t so damn gay, I’d have to pop him one.
Confused as ever,
Justin
The curls are coming back – I like ‘em but I’ve heard rumblings about people liking it shaved.
Personally, I think that’s their own issue.
In curls and twirls,
Justin
The dolphin meant nothing to me. I swear. Besides, he was all making with the smoochies on JC. Dolphin-slut, I tell you.
You’re the one for me,
Justin
Have you been talking to Wade? Because the new “Girlfriend” choreography has a lot of pelvic thrusting and, well, I know how much you like that. I think of you every time.
Love,
Justin
Elton? *sigh* What happened to the Wiz, man?
Is this the beginning of the end?
Yours always,
Justin
I feel kinda guilty about this whole Friends thing. After all, it was Lance and Joey’s movie and I’m getting the attention. I don’t understand – I thought chicks dug love stories… are they really into flamboyantly gay men instead?
That would explain all those weird stories I’ve been reading on the web.
Pondering,
Justin
P.S. I’m getting you a cowboy hat too!
P.P.S. But I’m keeping Chris’studded leather bracelet for myself!
Have you seen the new Ludacris video? Where his head is too large for his body?
Creeps me the fuck out, yo.
Justin
DUDE! You should SEE what Chris did to his hair. Man, too.damn.funny. I’d hate to be HIS garbage can…
Still snorting, Justin
Dear Garbage Can,
i think jc loves joey more than me. i could handle lance, but joey too?
you don’t love joey more than me, do you?
Love,
Justin
You are the perfect sized garbage can. I mean, so many are way too big and they just get in the way. Some are too small and i’m always emptying them several times a day. But not you, you… I look over and I feel like Goldilocks who found her “just right.” It warms my heart.
Love,
Justin
You’re my favorite garbage can. I like your soothing baby blue color.
I like that your rim is wide enough that when I shoot a little to the left, it still goes in.
I love that you love my letters. You understand me garbage can. You complete me.
Love,
Justin
I’m so glad Chris got rid of that pineapple head. It looked so stupid. He should go platinum. Like me.
Love,
Justin
I ran into this girl today. She was mean. She said JC was cuter. Bitch.
It’s not true, right?
Love,
Justin
You’re so much better than Lance’s garbage can. Lance’s garbage can is stupid. It’s all skinny and it’s got flames running down its sides and shit.
I guess what they say about people looking like their garbage cans is true, yo.
Love,
Justin
I’m thinking of not doing the hip-grindage in “gone” anymore. I think I popped something in a bad way last time. You’ll still love me if I don’t, right?
Hopeful,
Justin
I bought you a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Just like mine. Don’t tell Britney… she tends to get jealous.
Yours always,
Justin
Okay, here’s the deal, I’m going to shoot this crumpled piece of paper into you. If it goes in, it’s me and Brit forever. If I miss, I dump the bimbo.
You da can,
Justin