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Justin’s Letters to His Garbage Can

March 1, 2001 by PopGurls All

It shouldn’t need to be said, but when Amy and Michelle get bored… well, it isn’t good. Inspired by the work of art that is known in the PopGurls-verse as the Lucy song, we’ve done some digging, yo, and we here at PopGurls are proud to present:

Justin’s letters to his garbage can!
updated: 11/27

Dear Garbage Can,

I’m getting pretty pissed at Wade. I mean, did you see us on CBS? What the hell was that? I mean, sure, the chicks seem to dig the shoulder move, but do we really need to be doing aerobic moves during “Girlfriend?” and why the fight gesture? I really don’t think “because I said so, and I am a golden god.” cuts it, no matter what Wade says.
See, he can’t even come up with his own cool lines! Wade’s such a dork…

Plus, i think he’s mackin’ on my chick. If he wasn’t so damn gay, I’d have to pop him one.

Confused as ever,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can –

The curls are coming back – I like ‘em but I’ve heard rumblings about people liking it shaved.

Personally, I think that’s their own issue.

In curls and twirls,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can –

The dolphin meant nothing to me. I swear. Besides, he was all making with the smoochies on JC. Dolphin-slut, I tell you.

You’re the one for me,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can –

Have you been talking to Wade? Because the new “Girlfriend” choreography has a lot of pelvic thrusting and, well, I know how much you like that. I think of you every time.

Love,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can,

Elton? *sigh* What happened to the Wiz, man?

Is this the beginning of the end?

Yours always,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can –

I feel kinda guilty about this whole Friends thing. After all, it was Lance and Joey’s movie and I’m getting the attention. I don’t understand – I thought chicks dug love stories… are they really into flamboyantly gay men instead?

That would explain all those weird stories I’ve been reading on the web.

Pondering,
Justin

P.S. I’m getting you a cowboy hat too!
P.P.S. But I’m keeping Chris’studded leather bracelet for myself!

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can –

Have you seen the new Ludacris video? Where his head is too large for his body?

Creeps me the fuck out, yo.

Justin

—————————————-
Garbage Can –

DUDE! You should SEE what Chris did to his hair. Man, too.damn.funny. I’d hate to be HIS garbage can…

Still snorting, Justin

—————————————-
older letters

Dear Garbage Can,

i think jc loves joey more than me. i could handle lance, but joey too?
you don’t love joey more than me, do you?

Love,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can,

You are the perfect sized garbage can. I mean, so many are way too big and they just get in the way. Some are too small and i’m always emptying them several times a day. But not you, you… I look over and I feel like Goldilocks who found her “just right.” It warms my heart.

Love,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can,

You’re my favorite garbage can. I like your soothing baby blue color.
I like that your rim is wide enough that when I shoot a little to the left, it still goes in.
I love that you love my letters. You understand me garbage can. You complete me.

Love,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can,

I’m so glad Chris got rid of that pineapple head. It looked so stupid. He should go platinum. Like me.

Love,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can,

I ran into this girl today. She was mean. She said JC was cuter. Bitch.

It’s not true, right?

Love,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can,

You’re so much better than Lance’s garbage can. Lance’s garbage can is stupid. It’s all skinny and it’s got flames running down its sides and shit.

I guess what they say about people looking like their garbage cans is true, yo.

Love,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can,

I’m thinking of not doing the hip-grindage in “gone” anymore. I think I popped something in a bad way last time. You’ll still love me if I don’t, right?

Hopeful,
Justin

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can,

I bought you a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Just like mine. Don’t tell Britney… she tends to get jealous.

Yours always,
Justin

—————————————-
You write it, we post it. Cheers.

—————————————-
Dear Garbage Can,

Okay, here’s the deal, I’m going to shoot this crumpled piece of paper into you. If it goes in, it’s me and Brit forever. If I miss, I dump the bimbo.

You da can,
Justin

Tagged With: justin timberlake, nsync

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