I Hate Las Vegas
The sun is barely up when I pull on my clothes, tie my sneakers, and get in the elevator at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. It’s another day of work on the road for me, even if the locale…
Pet Me
We figured we weren’t the only ones to read articles about female sexuality in men’s magazines and think, “What the fuck?” Sometimes you have to wonder if the people who write these stories have ever gotten laid, so trite and…
A Love Letter to iPod Users
I spend much of my day being forced to listen to other people’s favorite songs. On the bus, the subway and in the elevator, my blissful personal space is continually intruded upon by those who have one thing in common…
Ain’t Nothing But a Shoe Thing
There are lots of women in the world who own more shoes than I do, and I’m jealous of each and every one of them. I mean, when I found out in the course of writing this article that I…
Melynee (Doesn’t) Go to Hollywood
It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone reading this that I like reality television. Ok, fine, I love reality television. I’ve watched almost every season of Survivor. America’s Next Top Model and The Apprentice are part of my regular…
Living In a Digital World
Here’s something most people don’t know about me: I don’t do digital music. It’s true. While I have lots of nifty electronics – 100-hour capacity Tivo, a five-disc DVD changer, a DVD burner, and XM radio (including the car adaptor…
Porn? For me?
Our friends are hard to shop for. They all go out and buy or make the stuff they really want, and that means that we have to think extra long and hard (heh) about what to get them. So, it’s…
What Makes Sexy?
We all know what constitutes sexy – our society spends much of its time flaunting sexy at us from singers to actors to commercials to models to movies. Sexy is short skirts and tight tops and naked flesh and words…
Confessions of Busty Broads
Woe is the busty girl. Not that we mind being busty (quite often, we rather enjoy our curvyness), it’s just that we’re a little fed up with the lack of love we’re feeling from bra designers. Those lovely pieces you…
Stripped
“Do you know Spencer Tunick?” Seren called to ask me this, and when I told her the name didn’t sound familiar, she continued. “Well, you know those pictures of all the naked people? Like, in New York City and stuff?”…
Nothing Like Getting Pawed
For my sixth anniversary with the boy, I was surprised with a little getaway to Whistler. Whistler, for those of you not in the loop, is a Canadian town/resort of sorts. It would be fun! And romantic! And, oh, by…
Mind the Gap
An open letter to designers of women’s jeans: There are few places on the female body more gorgeous than the small of the back. Regardless of her shape and size, a woman can usually show off that gentle slope proudly,…
Crushed
That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else. – Sixteen Candles It’s so easy to have a crush when you’re younger. Most of the time you get to run into your Object of…
Kevin Smith Saved My Life
Really. Well, no, the man didn’t impress me with his Heimlich skills or try to slip me the tongue with a little CPR. No kidneys were donated and as far as I can tell, I’m still as broke as I…
Gratitude
I didn’t know Adam Yauch. I never met him, or even spotted him in traffic or standing in line at a coffee shop in L.A. But when I read the news of Yauch’s passing last Friday, I crumbled. That afternoon,…
Wanted: A Circus Boyfriend
Being – still and always – single, and rapidly approaching 30, is a source of more than a little frustration in my life. One of the unexpected benefits of this situation, however, is the significant time it has given me…
Eighth Grade Dance Redux
When I was in eighth grade, I would drag my friend Jolene to every school dance. Figure a dance every other Friday or so, and that’s about least 20 dances in one year. She would resist, complaining that the ones…