So, I’m sitting around with my officemate, looking up old MTV Video Music Award performances — back when artists really put effort in to do something interesting and groundbreaking. I came across Janet Jackson’s 1993 performance of “That’s the Way Love Goes/If.” It’s not really groundbreaking or a spectacle by any means, but it’s so engaging.
You want to follow her, see what she does next. It’s sexy and sultry and kind of mesmerizing for something so low-key.
That video, of course, then lead me to this:
*NSYNC’s “That’s the Way Love Goes” homage to Janet for the MTV:Icon series.
For those of you who weren’t following our intense *NSYNC love — these were our immediate reactions:
Death By Icon
You’re watching the video. The. Fucking. Video. The night before. And you suddenly forget to breathe. Like, really, truly, all of a sudden your body does not remember what it’s supposed to do. Inhale? Exhale? What? And you’re choking, and also (and you weren’t sure this was physically possible before, but apparently it is, because you’re now doing it) and at the same time, emitting this high-pitched whine that’s almost not recognizable as a human sound, but rather closer to what the tea kettle does right before it’s about to boil.
Icon: They’ve Created a Monster
Because I am used to wanting to lie down beside Joe and snuggle. I’m even sort of used to moaning at the sight (or remembrance) of Justin’s pelvis. But I am NOT fucking used to wanting Lance. Not at all. See, I want to take him shopping and pat him on the head when he tries to buy shirts with big pink stars and rhinestones. Only now. Now. Now I want him to pin me to the wall with that sex stare and stalk toward me with that intense energy he suddenly has in spades and I want his hand on the wall, the one with the leather and metal bracelet, right by my head and I want him to say nasty things to me in his phone sex voice. I’d beg for it, if I thought it could happen.
The Way Love Goes, Again
Justin and that pillar. Really. Every time they cut back to him rubbing himself against it, it just gets better. Only this time, I understand that he’s pointing to himself, for those of us, I guess, who didn’t find the word “I” specific enough, but, he’s doing it with both hands, and it looks like what he’s really doing is grabbing his nipples.
And it doesn’t help.
Icon: God Bless Janet Jackson Remakes
To use a very overused phrase, this video broke us. En masse. And kept smashing us to pieces upon each new viewing. Except, maybe not for Michelle, but then again, after watching the video a good five or so times, popped in the Fox Christmas Special, next on her tape of *NShame. Even I can’t watch that one.
Apparently I never wrote up my reaction, and that’s probably because I was incoherent for a good week. However, I can confirm this recounting to be completely accurate: “You should call Amy, because she was on the floor speechless.” Why, you ask? Lance. Of course it was Lance. And I’ve always been a Joey girl.
Damn you, Lance Bass. Damn you.